Radiation Zone | vnes/open
Jan 25, 2015 21:47:51 GMT -8
Post by ∅dyssey on Jan 25, 2015 21:47:51 GMT -8
Is h v a r i
Useless, useless, useless. It was all she could feel in her recent days, completely a burden on all that lay before her path, wherever she went, whomever she faced. Every calculated step, every breath, every effort not to tumble when she was disoriented by her altered vision. Her left eye was perfect and intact. Her right eye was long since gone, leaving nothing but a scarred and concave imperfection of the face. Truly, Ishvari cared little for its appearance for she was beyond her years of discouragement on trivial things such as honorable scars - for it was honorable in defense of these great lands. Yet the world was harsh and unforgiving, her previous line of work not a place for fretting mares. She had stared long and hard into crystal waters for a time but subsequently it was her damn uselessness that had marred her the most. Where was there a place in her family for those such as her, stripped of their talent and beloved existence at the hooves of their enemies? She could hardly canteranymore without feeling as if she might collapse from a spinning world. It had gotten easier, better, but it had not helped her in her new life of drifting uselessness.
The bay was on her way back from a return meeting with her brother. They'd faced each other many times since the incident on the turn of the year and try as he might he still had the awful habit of avoiding eye contact with her, as if he could not stand to look upon his sister's misfortune. Some royal guard, she had thought bitterly at first for where was his place among the world's strongest when he could not even look upon his own sister? She knew he felt for her and her ordeals but she certainly didn't need his damnedable pity and discomfort. She needed him not to feel as sorry for her as she so often felt for herself. Someone. Anyone. It is not as if I did something to disgrace the family. Indeed, her attack had been nothing if not unjust, unprovoked and brutal.
Peering out over the flowing fields of poppy, bathed in the warm rays of autumn sun, Ishvari felt as lost in the sea as any individual flower might have. She was there, existing, but unsure of her place among peers. She should have been well into her watch by this time of day had it still been her duty. Alas, that ship had sailed many months ago. And with pensive thought furrowing her brow and downtrodding her lips, all she could do was look back in hindsight. If she'd known what would have befallen her, would she have gone the chosen path? The answer is startlingly simple to settle: yes. It was almost cruel; she longed for duty as much as she accepted the risk that had ultimately lead to her resignation. Longed for any form of chore or obligations to make her feel whole and not twisted or halved.
♃
NOTES: Hope it is adequate. Trying to get into the swing of the character. | WORDS: 505 | TAGS: vnes
